Four Months to Go, Cake Cards and Next Steps

In four month's time, I would be a married woman.  Yesterday marked our four-months-to-the-wedding date!  It's been crazy with invitations (we ordered ours through Stephita.  They're AMAZING and very affordable compared to other places.  Not only are there a lot of choices when it comes to customization, but they print everything on the premises.  Really lowers the cost - to as much as HALF per card!). 

My parents are giving "cake cards" out to our family members who live in town.  It's a modern tradition in the Chinese community to do this, an off shoot of a tradition in the old days where parents of the bride hand out actual cakes/buns after an engagement.  It only goes to guests on the girl's side.  However, in modern times, not all invitations are hand-delivered, so it's much easier/convenient/cheaper to include a gift card in the invitation.  All bakeries in Chinese malls sell these.  At first, I was against giving them out - why bother, right?  But my mother said that it would look bad on us if we didn't.  My parents have been invited to two weddings this summer and both invites included these cards.  They said that having them was "tradition."  What tradition? It isn't really MINE.  It's THEIRS.  But since they're the ones handing delivering those invitations, I guess they can do whatever they want with them. 

As for the next steps?  Clothes.  My dress should be ready for the first fitting in the next few weeks.  They haven't contacted me about it yet.  As for the bridesmaids, one girl already has her dress and the others have either ordered it or will be ordering.  I had *THOUGHT* my flower girl's dress had been ordered, but it turns out that the one we chose has been discontinued.  So we're back at square one.  As for the guys?  My fiance has his tux placed and we are going this weekend to get the groomsmen and ring bearer outfits.

Tea Ceremony - Yes or No?

In a more traditional, yet modern Chinese wedding, the bride serves tea to her parents prior to leaving their house to thank them for raising her. It is supposed to be intimate and is only done by the bride. Today, she does this alongside the groom - after the groom picks her up at her parents' home (and after her bridesmaids try to prevent the groom and groomsmen from coming in - unless they pay up!! Usually, this means requiring the a guy to do crazy things, such as walking with a dictionary on his head, etc...it can get a little ummm...adult at times, too). Tea is then served at the groom's home before heading to the legal ceremony. Jewellery and/or lai see (lucky money in red envelopes) are given to the couple by those who're getting tea (elder relatives such as parents, grandparents, older siblings (especially those already married). Now that I am getting married next year, the question is this: Do I even bother? I'm marrying someone outside of my culture and the tea ceremony isn't even something I'm 100% familiar with. I grew up here. Until I was in my 20s, I thought that in Canada, the tea ceremony was done after the legal ceremony, because the bride and groom weren't supposed to see each other. Little did I know that this "tradition" only applies in English-speaking cultures (so does wearing something old, borrowed or blue, but that's another issue). In any case, it's even more changing for the bride, since she'll be in white, then changing into a Chinese dress for the tea ceremony and back to her white dress to go to the reception, no?

I'm 99.9% sure I won't be changing clothes. It isn't something I really feel like doing, despite what my family is trying to encourage me to do. The dress I want isn't a big, poofy princess gown, meaning that I can sit, dance, etc wearing what I'm wearing. But back to the tea thing: Since I don't want to do it before the actual ceremony, I have three (maybe four) options:

1. Do it during at the rehearsal dinner - tea ceremonies are only suppposed to involve family, anyway

2. In between the legal ceremony and reception (i.e. during cocktails)

3. The day after - at brunch (if I decide to have one)

4. Not at all

What do you think?

Note: My parents are ok with me not doing it. However, they do think that I should "stick to tradition" and do it before the actual wedding. I have suggested the rehearsal, but they think the day before is a little "different" (what's wrong with "different?" I know a few people who are having (or had) opposite sex attendants (e.g. man of honour, best woman)!)

Note: This is also posted on Jook Sing Life