Half the RSVPs are in, but....

...what bugs me the most are those who call and say that they're going to come without either RSVPing on our website or sending in their response card.  Personally, I don't consider verbal confirmations official.  As we have meal choices, paper or electronic confirmation is very important.  What bugs me even more are third party confirmations - when someone tells me that another invitee is coming, without the actual invitee contacting us directly.  I won't mark down anyone as officially coming unless they contact me themselves.  However, regrets through third party contacts are acceptable (though not ideal).

I realize that some of this might be cultural - I've had more RSVP issues on my side than from my fiance's.  It *IS* tough to be the first generation born in Canada.  Even if your parents and close relatives get you, it doesn't mean that more distant relatives do - especially if they don't live here.  They'll just continue to do things they consider is proper etiquette.

Four Months to Go, Cake Cards and Next Steps

In four month's time, I would be a married woman.  Yesterday marked our four-months-to-the-wedding date!  It's been crazy with invitations (we ordered ours through Stephita.  They're AMAZING and very affordable compared to other places.  Not only are there a lot of choices when it comes to customization, but they print everything on the premises.  Really lowers the cost - to as much as HALF per card!). 

My parents are giving "cake cards" out to our family members who live in town.  It's a modern tradition in the Chinese community to do this, an off shoot of a tradition in the old days where parents of the bride hand out actual cakes/buns after an engagement.  It only goes to guests on the girl's side.  However, in modern times, not all invitations are hand-delivered, so it's much easier/convenient/cheaper to include a gift card in the invitation.  All bakeries in Chinese malls sell these.  At first, I was against giving them out - why bother, right?  But my mother said that it would look bad on us if we didn't.  My parents have been invited to two weddings this summer and both invites included these cards.  They said that having them was "tradition."  What tradition? It isn't really MINE.  It's THEIRS.  But since they're the ones handing delivering those invitations, I guess they can do whatever they want with them. 

As for the next steps?  Clothes.  My dress should be ready for the first fitting in the next few weeks.  They haven't contacted me about it yet.  As for the bridesmaids, one girl already has her dress and the others have either ordered it or will be ordering.  I had *THOUGHT* my flower girl's dress had been ordered, but it turns out that the one we chose has been discontinued.  So we're back at square one.  As for the guys?  My fiance has his tux placed and we are going this weekend to get the groomsmen and ring bearer outfits.

Less than five months to go!!!

Can't believe it's almost here. We've officially ordered our invitations will be getting them in a couple of weeks. What else do we have to do?

• Finalize registry
• Dress fittings
• Mail out invites
• Dance lessons!!!!
• Seating plan
• Pay installments for photog, videography, DJ, etc...
• Get licence (can't do that until late May or later - you have to get it no earlier than 90 days before the wedding)
• Meet with officiant

I hope I'm not leaving anything out!

Wedding Gown and What We've Had Done So Far

Well, ladies and gentlemen, in case you haven't heard, I HAVE MY DRESS! I can't show you any pictures until after the ceremony, but I CAN tell you that it is GORGEOUS and very versatile - something which I was looking for at the beginning anyway. I don't want a princess ball gown - not only is it inappropriate for an outdoor ceremony, but such a dress will be overwhelming on a petite figure. I should be going to my first fitting in about five months.

So far, we have the following done:

• My wedding gown
• Decided on bridal party
• DJ
• Officiant
• Venue (catering included)
• Photographer
• Videographer
• Guest List

What we *STILL* need to do:

• Invitations (we are not sending out traditional Save the Dates on snail mail. We have either told people via word-of-mouth or e-mail)
• Ceremony musicians
• Cake
• Flowers
• Bridal Party attire
• Groom's tux
• Licence (this is done two or three months before the wedding date)
• Rehearsal dinner catering
• Favours
• Gifts for bridal party
• Hair/Make-up
• Linens (the venue does not provide chair covers)
• Hotel for out-of-town guests

We've already met with a few invitation places (prices really range - generally from anywhere between $3 Canadian/invite to over $12!! Some places include set-up and assembly charges, others do not) and are very close to making our decision. We have also spoken with cake shops. If anyone has suggestions for cakes, let me know! We need a place offers a delivery service.

More Culture Clashes

My parents have told me that if some people are invited, we have to invite their whole family, adult children included. The adult children don't get their own invite not because we're trying to save trees, but because it's what you're "supposed to do" in Chinese culture (these people aren't considered full adults until they're officially out of the house (i.e. married...an exception MIGHT be made if said "kidult" moved to the other side of the country/continent/other part of the world because they're so far away). To send a second invite to adult children means that you're expecting another gift. They don't even think that we need to put the kidults' names on the invitation (I am ok with sending one invite per household, of course, but I am NOT ok with not including names of the kids, whether they're of age or NOT, unless I don't know the kids' names. It's as if the kids aren't "real people" if their names weren't included.) I think my parents really should have stuck with the "green" thing because they SHOULD know that I won't necessarily"get" it. Not all first generation Canadian-born kids are going to fully understand ALL old country customs. I think immigrant parents sometimes forget that. Actually, a lot of people forget that, including the media. There are some that we like, of course, but there are also ones that we don't.

Am I turning into a bridezilla already?