Band or DJ?

Yesterday, my fiance asked me whether we'd like a DJ or a live band. I'm still kind of undecided. There are good and bad points for either - a live band can be really good if they are talented. And people like live entertainment. On the other hand, good bands are very, very difficult to find. And if they're not used to a certain kind of music, they're going to have to learn it. On the other hand, a DJ has a collection of music that he/she plays. If you're interested in playing music that might not normally be played at weddings, you can always hand the DJ a playlist before hand so he/she can get the music.

Of course, there are bad DJs as well. And selecting one probably isn't as easy as looking at photographers or videographers. DJs don't really have portfolios. The only way to really hear a DJ "perform" is to actually attend events. This isn't something that most people have the time to do!

Space is another issue - our venue isn't that big, so having a live band means that they have to be small - maybe three instruments and a singer. DJs take up less room - all they need is a table for their equipment.

What do you think? DJ or band?

Dresses.....

(NOT a dress the poster will be getting)

I have not started to look for my dress yet. I mean, I've looked around various wedding websites for styles I like, but I have not booked an appointment with any store to try dresses on. I have a rough idea of what I want. I don't want a strapless dress, since every that seems to be what every single bride has been wearing for the past ten years. I am definitely getting at least some straps, no matter what other brides have been telling me (every girl who has married has said that I'll change my mind about going strap - I am out to prove them wrong). I don't want to be the bride who is constasntly pulling on her gown (this can happen, even with good lingerie and alterations) I also want to be different. In addition to strapless, it's also not going to be a princess-like ball gown. I'm approximately 5'2" and less than 100 lb. There's NO WAY dresses like that will work on me! Or, do you think I'll end up going strapless like everyone else?

Setting Dates, Superstitions and All That Jazz

I don't consider myself superstitious, but for some reason, I felt that it was important that we had a "good day" for our wedding. In fact, I even asked my parents to talk to my grandmother in Hong Kong to see if she could find out what the best days were next year. There's a book, something similar to the Farmer's Almanac, which "determines" what days are good. It isn't just for weddings, but also for grand openings/launches as well.

I did some research myself, online, as well. The 2010 edition wasn't available when we contacted my grandmother, but there were numerous websites which also did the job. I actually consulted three sites, in case they were going to say something different - you never know, right? We had two dates in mind at the time, and all three of them said that one of the chosen dates was considered excellent. The other date, however, ranged from being "so-so" to downright awful. So guess which day we decided to go for?

Some people go into a lot of detail to choose dates, using not just birthdates of the bride and the groom, but also the exact hour and time zone! That's a little too much, I think.

Tradition! Tradition! (Part One)

People have been asking me whether I'm going to have more than one dress - it is, after all, modern Chinese tradition to change at least once (most brides of Chinese descent I know wear white for the ceremony, change to a red one mid-way through the reception and end the evening in an evening gown). I don't know when this tradition started, but it's been around for at least a few decades - my mom and dad married in the 1970s and she changed. There are others who have asked me why I'm bothering to wear white at all, since it is a colour of mourning in many eastern traditions.

It's interesting who these people are - mostly are older people, who don't have much exposure to Chinese culture, beyond books and PBS documentaries. They're often overtly politically correct and abhor the fact that you are eroding your "own" culture by "adapting" what's around you, even if it's the culture you've grown up with OR something that even your parents did. I have also experienced this with people who're immigrants themselves, or sometimes, even KIDS OF IMMIGRANTS (a little odd, IMHO). When you tell them, there's a confused look on their face (this is a true story: A woman who worked in an admin position at my grad school told me how "sad" she was when she saw a bride of Asian descent wear white. She was like "I hope you don't do that." WTF? I repeat, WTF???!!!!!!

Anyway, back to the dress thing. I'm just not going to bother to change. I don't want to haul several outfits with me, since it's so much to take along. In any case, it's a wedding, not a fashion show. If I *WERE* to change, it'll only be one outfit - to a Chinese gown. I don't want to make a big spectacle out of clothing. It's just not my cup of tea.

Venue & Photographer Chosen...Now Next Steps

We've finally decided on a photographer! So now that we've signed with him, the next steps are to look for other wedding-related services. We've interviewed with videographers, but haven't come to a decision yet. Like photography, we don't want straight-out, boring DVDs. If we wanted that, we could just ask someone who has a video camera to do it for us! And likely for free, too. Does anyone have suggestions as to what to look for in a videographer? We know that questions to ask include hours of coverage, number of copies we get (we are hoping for three. One for us, and one for each set of parents), editing, price, etc...

Other things we need to do: Cake, Flowers, Officiant, Favours and of course GOWN!